Relocating to Another State with Children After a Divorce

Relocation is sometimes a necessary part of life. You may want to move to be closer to family or to improve your employment opportunities. You may need to move if your company transfers you. Unfortunately, if you're a divorced parent with joint custody, moving to another state may become an uphill battle in terms of sharing custody.

Parenting Plan

When you first divorced, you hopefully set out a parenting plan, which lays the groundwork for how you and your former spouse will raise your children. Part of the plan should have covered relocation. If so, the transition might not be so difficult. However, many times parents don't imagine relocating to another state and so don't include that as part of the parenting plan.

Filing for Relocation

With joint custody, both parents are supposed to have equal access to the children, such as seeing them half the week or every other week. Typically, this is not possible when a parent relocates to another state.

According to Missouri law, the parent wishing to relocate has to formally inform the other parent. This formal notice must be a written letter that you send via certified mail and receive a return receipt. When you're drafting this letter, you'll need to include specific information such as the exact time and location of the move.

You must serve the notice a full 60 days prior to moving. The parent staying behind then has 30 days to accept or object to the relocation plan. Doing nothing is seen as consent.

Telling the Children

Moving out of state — or losing a parent to relocation — is going to be hard on the children. Whenever possible, save relocation for later in their lives. No matter the timeframe, though, communication is the key.

You know your children best, so you'll be the judge of how to actually inform them of the move. However, as Woman's Divorce points out, such a move is a social amputation for children, depriving them of full parental support on both sides. Be watchful for signs of depression and anxiety, and be ready to address them.

Communication needs to be as open as possible with your ex-spouse. Your children will need support from both parents.

Relocation Trial

If your ex-spouse objects to the relocation of the children, a trial will be necessary. Judges are always looking out for the best interest of the child. Be ready — judges typically favor disrupting the child's life as little as possible. They may change the terms of your custody arrangement so that the parent staying behind has sole physical custody.

Indeed, in Missouri, the relocating parent must prove that the move is in the best interest of the child. That said, staying in place isn't automatically the best situation for the child.

Considerations for Best Interest

As part of your relocation plan, you should have as much detail about your children's future life in the new state. For example, you should know where you're going to live and everything possible about your children's new schools. You should also have a plan in place for childcare.

Likewise, emphasize the positives of the new location, such as being closer to extended family. Though money isn't a huge factor, point out how a lower cost of living will allow your children to participate in more activities.

Finally, have a plan in mind for visitation. Be prepared to give up holidays and other school vacations so your children can spend this time with their other parent. After all, you'll be parenting them on a daily basis. You'll also want to lay out a payment idea for travel costs.

Be aware that judges don't look kindly on the situation if they suspect the move is motivated at all by revenge on the ex-spouse.

You have the right to move to a new state — no one can prevent that. Unfortunately, if you're co-parenting, a judge might decide your children don't need to move with you. The team at Armstrong, Betker and Schaeffer, PLC can help with your legal needs during this stressful time.​